raving and rantings of my corporate world

I fired someone today.
Did I feel bad about it ? NO
Am I comfortable with not feeling bad about it? NO

I think she deserved to go.I have always considered firing someone a personal insult.I think that I could have done a better job at not getting to this stage.

I have to deal with a lot of young people as a part of my job.Usually I feel very old when I do so except for a few exceptions.I do not understand the expectations of this generation. They always seem to expect without doing anything return.It is always what the college, the parents, the organizations (they work for ), the government should do for them. Most I have spoken to have attributed it to the age. 'They will mature with age' the wise ones tell me..

battle with the weight continues..

Started my walks with mets today.It had gotten too cold to swim and I almost came down with pnemonia thanks to my bravado. Sad, I love swimming.Even as a kid, that was the only thing that would make me get up at 06:00 a.m. even in the holidays.we used to race to be the first ones to 'break the water' as we called it. Diving into the pool which looked like a sheet of glass early in the morning and spalsh around to create the ripples.
Called Dr.T and asked him to recommend a dietician.He has recommended somebody at the hospital.

My crush has resurfaced..I feel like a teenager everytime I meet him and I'm sure I behave like one too! It's a good feeling , if not for any other reason , to feel like 14 when you are 31.Divs saw him yesterday and she says she recognized him instantly because she had heard so much about him from me.The sad part is that I am not the only one who feels that way .. he apparently has a huge bunch of admirers (turn off#1) and is married- happily (so am I).

dada is back..

Sourav Ganguly is back into the Indian cricket team amidst various speculations and controversies surrounding the comeback.
I missed an opportunity to see dada (elder brother in bengali) in person. He had come to the hotel where I work to check if he could shift his team (he was a part of the Bengal team playing for the Ranji trophy in Pune and had been put up in a sidey hotel in the city along with the other players) there. Unfortunately we did'nt have enough rooms and not wanting the team to split up, dada went back to the the sidey hotel.
The fact that Dada's fall from grace has taught him a few lessons was evident when he was seen arriving in an Indica stuffed like sardines in can with a couple of other players/ officials. This was the same guy who had refused to carry replinishments to the batsmen on the field as the twelfth man.

Lessons in life # 1

Lesson # 1 :Swimming in an outdoor pool when the temp. is 15 degree Centigrade is a bad bad idea for people living in tropical climates.

I am currently down with a bad cold, a woozy head desperately in need of TLC. Thank god A coming back tonight.

Somebody said something to me and I have been thinking. Am I really so inwardly focused..Strangely A feels I am too outwardly focused. I have never been conscious of what the people around think of me.That is probably the only way my sister and I are alike.
Or may be it is defiance. I don't want to know.

NY, London, Paris, Delhi.. where does this stop

I am an aethist. I have always been one.I will never stand up , fight,marry (I'm married but hypothetically speaking), write, hire or fire, trust or mistrust any one for a religious cause. At least that is what I thought till NY, London,Paris and Delhi happened.
What is it with the Moslems? No religion can ever teach any one to kill innnocents, create terror, hijack planes and crash them into buildings.Why would a CTU (counter terrorist unit) first start searching for suspects under 'Muslim fundamentalists groups' everytime something like this happens?
I was returning from a movie show with a friend late one night.As the car was parked a little far away from the theater, we decided to take an auto to the car.When we approached the autos, we saw a bunch of auto drivers all trying to give us a better deal. One of them was this muslim chap.. distintively so dressed in a kurta and a high (typical of hyderabadi muslims) pyjama, sporting a beard. I could feel a chill going down my spine as soon as I saw him. We got into another auto to get to the car.
I am not to sure of the 'trust and misttrust' bit anymore.

Diwali - festival of lights

Diwali has come and gone.The winter is approaching and there is a nip in the air.B was home this diwali so we had planned a whole lot of things for his benefit.We had lit up the verandas with electric lights and the windows with diyas (earthern oil lamps). Once we were done with the lighting we took B downstairs for crackers. A very conviniently took his place behind his tripod to click pictures.So B and I were bursting crackers and posing for pictures every now and then.."Good move A! your bravado (or the lack of it) did'nt go unnoticed"
B wanted to go out for dinner so we took him to this new restaurant in town called "All stir fry". It was a delightful place, great casual dining for oriental food.They have an intreactive display kitchen where you can ask the chef to make you a stir fried dish out of the ingredients you choose.All of us had our stir fried bowls and A decided to try out one of the lamb curries from the menu.The food was good and so was the service. We were probably their first ever customers as it was the restaurant's opening night. The staff was very much in sync with all the products and services.
Next day was work as usual.

B has left to visit grandparents in Lucknow.He will be spending a day with his aunt in Mumbai before being put on a flight to Lucknow.
Somehow A and I have been very brave with this. This is the 4th time B will be on a flight half way across or completely across the country in his life.If not anything these experiences have boosted his confidence levels with strangers in a big way.

Back at work, at last...

I am back to work at last.. did I miss it? Yes and no.
I was liking spending time at home, being able to watch movies , getting up really late, chatting endlessly with friends on the phone and the like, but I have always enjoyed work. And no, I am definitely not an workoholic.I have a 'LIFE' outside work.I have great friends, hobbies and a great family. And yes, I like keeping my house well- my refrigerator is well stocked, my house is usually well kept.We do make an sincere attempt to keep it neat, tidy and asthetic.
To me keeping a house is just another job that I need to do well. I have been blessed with decent household help so my typical week day goes like this..
0530-0700 hrs.packing off B(my son) to school,workout regime(these days that has been replaced by an early morning power nap).
Once my day maid comes in at 0700 hrs, I have my tea brought to me along with the newspapers (all this goes haywire when A is around)
I have my early morning tea with A and we read our respective newspapers (we get 5 of them everyday).
Once he leaves anytime between 0730 and 0800 hrs, I organize the house for the day..
0800-0845 hrs I have a mini conference in the kitchen with the housekeeper, day maid, the nanny and sometimes the chauffeur . The meals for the day, the cleaning jobs, the laundry and any organizing for an upcoming party, house guests, festivals, travel (packing/ unpacking) or upcoming staff leaves is done.
I do all my assorted errands such as writing cheques, making phonecalls and instructing the maids.
0845-0915 hrs- getting ready for work
I leave for work anytime between 0830-0930 hrs depending on my schedule for the day.
Once my organizing in the morning is done I don't really need to do much to have the house running. My only inputs are cooking (which happens almost everyday especially if A is not around) and ocassional therauptic cleaning.
So,I had the whole day to myself till B came back from school at 1330 hrs. I would have lunch with him and then it was back in to my movies and sundry errands while B napped in the afternoon.
The life I lead was good for a holiday but not the life I would like to lead.
I need to have a purpose.. that's what keeps me going. Life seems more purposeful and organized when I am working.I like juggling a zillion things through the day. That's me!

oscar nominated movies

I was going through a list of movies nominated for the academy award for best movie/ picture in the last 10 years. I discovered that if I watch 11 more movies from the list I will have watched each and every movie nominated for the award in the last 10 years!
Of course this year I has finished watching all the 6 movies nominated before the Oscar night. My favourites were " finding neverland" (Ooh johnny depp!! ) and "the aviator".

This is the first time I am watching movies to complete some sort of target.. I am even watching period films.

organizing a great meal

Riti had come over with her daughter to spend the afternoon with me. I made a Thai green curry (with chicken and green beans), Garlic prawns (nice plump juicy A grade jumbo prawns stir fried with some ginger, garlic, sweet chilli sauce and hoisin sauce) and some stir fried chinese greens ( spinach stir fried with oyster sauce, garlic , garnished with roasted sesame oil and sesame seeds). And we had a dessert platter . Riti was impressed with the spread.
It works very well for us. People are impressed with the oriental or continental food we serve and we are saved the hassle of cooking Indian food (from which ever part of India) which has never been my forte.
A and I have been married for 6 years now and we learned a few lessons when we got into our act of organising our kitchen.
1.You can never cook oriental food once a month or once in two months. Well you can, but it is a huge hassle. Organising ingredients for a foreign cuisine for one day just does'nt make sense. A and I being the gourmands that we are, would never be happy with substitutes.
2. Never try out dishes for the first time on the day that you are entertaining. If we want to try a new recipe on the dday, we always do a trial a day before. So on the dday we have a nicely balanced dish and no surprizes of the unpleasant kind.
3. While entertaining to impress.. never do a cuisine you are not familiar with. A no brainer, right? you'll be surprized to see how many people just don't do this.
4. If you are cooking for a large number of people, try and have dishes cooked in different ways for eg, one bake, one steamed, one fried etc so that your stove, microwave oven or grill does'nt have a line to dishes to be finished.
5. For lunches, it is quiet acceptable to have just one or two kinds of drinks for everybody. Eg, you can have beers and sangria for everyone or like I did today.. the cocktail for the day was chilli vodka. This way you will not have to organize a bunch of mixers or glasses in addition to your food.
6. Organize a simple one dish meal for the kids. Choose something popular like pasta or noodles or parathas followed by dessert. They are usually more bothered about having fun with the others.
7. Kids below 3-4 years should be fed before being taken to parties. They can nibble on some junk being passed around and both the parents and the child are happy.
Oh!, I can write a book on this.. but as better sense prevails, I'd rather not. At least not right now.

Tryst with films..contd//..

If I complete my list of 14 oscar nominated films, I would have been through each and every film nominated for academy awards (category : best film) from 1995-2005. That's something huh!

My tryst with movies..

My friday night is going to see me getting high on Brosnan(of the Pierce Brosnan fame) and chilli vodka. . Tonight it is Evelyn and After the Sunset. I just finished watching Thomas Crown Affair and Goodfellas. Loved Brosnan in the TCA. Enough to inspire me to watch all his non James Bond movies (I love them..we have all of them, I have seen all of them many times over). The only one I had seen so far was Laws of attraction.
Goodfellas.. I can't believe I actually saw a mob movie. Okay over 3 sittings, but what is the use of have a home theatre anyway. The gruesome murder in the first few frames sets the tone for the movie and I expected it to be much more violent than it actually was. A good watch. Robert de Niro brilliance lies in his versatality. He can blend or stand out in a movie to the exact degree required for the characters he plays. A must watch for all Martin Scorsese fans. Very well characterized. Just the right pace.
NFAI (National Film Archieves of India) had a festival called "Film Noir". It featured films like Chinatown, Psycho, Rear Window which hightlighted the dark side of life. Till I saw a few films at the festival I was only interested in the feel good type of movies , you know chick flicks, romantic comedies and the like. The festival marked a turning point in my movie watching pattern. I can now appreciate and enjoy a good film of practically any genre.
One of the things I want to do in the year I turn forty is follow a couple of film festivals around the world. My SIL has been following film festivals this year. The New York film festival, the Montreal film festival and is now at the Beunos Aires festival. She tells me by the time you are at the third festival , there is not much left to watch. Most films are a repeat from the previous two. Thanks SIL ! It was a great suggestion for a HUGE movie buff like me.

my last week in bed..

Well my holiday is coming to an end. The Doc says I can get back to normal life gradually in a couple of weeks. I am dying to swim, go for my walks and getting up early. My son goes to a school which starts really early. He has to leave the house at 06:20 a.m. Cinderella leaves anywhere between 07-08:00 a.m. and so does A. I am usually the last to leave at 08:45-09:00 a.m. So we are all up really early and once everyone leaves I have my cup of tea in my balcony smelling the fresh morning air and watching the neighbourhood wake up.
Sleep is a waste of time. There are so many things you miss out on if you sleep. For the next few years, till my son grows up, the only way I can see myself having a life, time for myself is by cutting down on the extra hour of sleep.
I have an endless list of things to do before I get back. The most important thing is to reorganize my wadrobe. As I will need to wear a belt for a while at work.. I need to wear clothing that will conceal it well.Sumi is taking me shopping today and I also hope to buy S's birthday present today.

Falling off the map..

I read Pico Iyer's Falling off the map.. Some lonely places of the world soon after it had been first published some 10-11 years back. I read the book with some fascination, some marvel and a sense of of detachment. I did'nt ever think I would ever go to any of those places in the book. It was just a beautiful description of a far off land.. it could have even been a fairytale . Last year we did go to Vietnam. A and I realized that we loved holidays to places which were off the beaten path. We hated going to places which were the standard for most Indians holidaying abroad.. Thailand,Singapore, Hongkong, Malaysia, Australia, Dubai,Maldives, London! (not the UK.. London), United states and for some adventerous tourists places like Sri Lanka, Seycelles, Egypt, some European countries such as France, Spain, Germany et al.
Also.. going to certain places which were not crassly commercialized worked out cheaper so we could do more things such as taking day trips into the country side and OF COURSE shop!
Well Myanmar is the next on our list and I wanted to go to Brazil or Argentina.
So as I am laid up in bed I decided to read Pico Iyer again.. to see how I relate to what has written about Vietnam. Well in 10 years Vietnam has changed a lot... It is still very far away from becoming a Malaysia or Thailand. They have started their shift towards free markets in a way that probably India should have too. By working on the infrastructure.Good roads, decent public transport . Telecom- they still have a lot to cover. On the social front.. gender equality. Women seemed far more liberated than what they would be in the middle eastern countries and even certain parts of India. I could go on and on and probably fill up half a book about Vietnam but something needs attention so..

two more weeks

Had an appointment wth the doc today. I had to get A to drive me since our chauffer did'nt turn up.
My bed rest has now become 'house rest'. I am now allowed to move around the house do some small chores.. I can get back to work in a couple of weeks if all goes well. Sheesh.
I will definitely finish 24 hrs season 1. Maybe season 2 as well but I definitely need a break. It is too adddictive. Also I stop watching movies when I am on to 24 hrs.
So much for my social calendar...
Let's see.. maybe I can get stuff done around the house:
1. Train the maids to segregate the washing correctly
2. Get minor plumbing repairs done
3.Read some work related literature
4.Organize our holiday pictures (A had taken some beautiful ones in Vietnam and Bangkok)
5. Do things with my son..make a weather chart, bark rubbing etc.
6. Get facials/ face massage done ( my frequency has been once in two years maybe I can get one done a week now!!)
7. Try and diet.. if I feel weak it does'nt matter because I am anyway at home, if I feel hungry I can always distract myself with movies.. Come to think of it, the Doc seems to have lost weight.
8. Blog.. learn to do play around.
Well the list will grow over the next couple of days.. but I think this is good for now.

my food crazy husband

In the hotel ( a posh hotel in downtown Mumbai) room he sees this write up on their chinese restaurant with a chinese chef from the Sichuan province. As A and I call our selves connoisseurs of Sichuan cuisine, he decides to have his meal there. In the restaurant he asks the chef to make him Dan Dan Mein (a fiery noodle dish, served as a starter in Sichuan restaurants and as a roadside snack in the province). When the chef comes to him for a feedback, this is how the conversation goes:
A : You have used the wrong vinegar
Chef (to a translator, he does'nt speak english) : What does he mean by that
A : You should use Chiangking vinegar and not the regular black vinegar
Chef : Ask him what is the name of his restaurant
Neddless to say A exploded. He easily makes one of the best Dan Dan noodles we have ever eaten.I think he gets this kick out of going to restaurants around the world (even china), ordering Dan Dan Noodles and realizing he makes them better.
A and me have graduated from using recipe books written by travel writters to ones written by researchers of Sichuan cuisine. We have Sichuan food more often than Indian at home. The magic ingredient there are the Sichuan peppercorns which are actually not peppercorns at all. They are berries. It has a distintive flavor which is very addictive.

under my nose

I have some great household help- there is a housekeeper, called S Aunty, a nanny for my son, Pushpa and a maid for the cleaning- Lakshmi and of course our chauffer who has been with us since my son was 4 months old. One morning my housekeeper tells me that Lakshmi is pregnant. I was horrified. Lakshmi and her husband live on a monthly income of Rs4000/-.They have a daughter. They do not have a lavish life by any means but all their basic needs are taken care of .. food, clothes and a house to live in and education for their daughter who despite having two barely literate parents is a bright student. They cannot afford to bring up another child. I tried talking Lakshmi in to having an MTP or medical termination of pregnancy before it got to late. She seemed confused. She said she always wanted to have a son as he would look after her and her husband in old age. As this is how a large part of rural and significant part of urban India thinks, it was not really a shock to me. I thought Lakshmi was lucky to have an employer who is enlighted and kind enough to help her to get rid of her unwanted pregnancy. I spoke to a few friends one of who is a doctor and made arrangements for her to go thru a MTP in a local hospital .I even offered to pay for a large part of the procedure.
In the meantime without my knowledge, Lakshmi got one of her relatives to take her to an illegal abortion clinic which did a sex determination test for her. The child to be was a female so she got herself aborted.

I was enraged when I got to know this.. how could I let this happen under my nose. A is all for having the clinic reported to a NGO or the police as sex determination tests are illegal in India. Sadly I don't have the courage not the determination to do this. I have a near perfect life and I don't want to disturb it. It has only made me realize the uphill tasks the government agencies have to curb such cases from proliferating.

ramblings about this and that

My friends have been exceptionally supportive thru out my rest period..Most of this support was unexpected as all of them except one, are working mothers with kids ranging from age 1.5 to 8 yrs (approx.). I am dying for my bedrest to come to an end, hopefully it will after my check up with the doc tommorow. My doc ( I wish that was true.. he he, I know you will enjoy reading this mets!). My social calender is filling up fast. I have one birthday party (which might be a surprize.. I will probably host it too), one anniversary, two company anniversary functions and not to mention work.. tons of interviews, to attend next week.

I love sean penn

Thru my 2 1/2 weeks at home.. I watched a lot of movies.. most seem trashy compared to "the Interpreter". Only Sydney Pollack can do this.NY and escalator scenes appear in every alternate american movie but only he can make their silence mesmerizing. Beautifully crafted movie with an African theme in the NY backdrop. It is definitely not one of Sean Penn best works but a good actor always leaves his mark. He just stands out. Only Pollack can make NIcole kidman seem young and vunerable like this. A must watch for film buffs.

being at home

I did'nt think I could be at home 24 by 7. Here I am barely moving from one room to another in 14 days. Sister-in-Law was right. 24 hrs is gripping .. I have been thru 12 episodes in 24 hours. I usually do'nt like this sort of racy stuff.. but this is different. Or maybe this is the only high energy thing around me right now.
Spoke to my cousin Ritzy after a long time. We are both working guilt ridden mothers with kids. Why do mothers feel so guilty when they work when their kids are little (well not really little). Most kids don't even notice.. well they do but I don't think they really mind. My theory is that an average kid learns to deal with the world on his own without the mother there to mollycoddle him or smother him with 'love and affection'. Indians have this thing about bringing up their kids. The more you look after them the better you are bringing them up. Most Indian kids are a by product of their parent's indulgence. Everybody has a say in what the poor kid should wear, which school he should go to, what profession he should pursue and even in this day and age who he should spend the rest of his life with and how?!!- every body but the kid himself.
Well I introspected a little bit on me and my son. Spend a litttle more time than I nomarlly get to on an average work day. I read a lot on parenting.. things to do with kids blah blah blah. The one book that has helped me to get thru not just to my son but also my husband is " How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" by adele faber and elaine mazlish.strongly recomended reading.